Riffs, Reflections, and Irritable Bastard Syndrome

Cue the electric riffs and introspective lyrics of "All Along the Watchtower," as this episode takes you on a sonic journey through its legendary covers, from Hendrix to U2, and my personal favorite, Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush. But it's not just about the music; I'll share an encounter at Dunkin' Donuts that turned into a reflection on the human condition. There, between bites of glazed goodness, I met a man whose life on the streets opened up a torrent of questions about how we respond to homelessness. It's a candid look at the impulses to give, the potential to enable, and the moral haze we find ourselves in when facing societal issues over a cup of coffee.

Switching gears, do you ever find that the older you get, the shorter your fuse becomes? You're not alone—I'm right there with you, wrestling with what I've dubbed "Irritable Bastard Syndrome." This part of our show is where the laughter comes in as we recount those absurd moments of stubbornness over trivial things, like who gets to merge into traffic first. Enjoy the tales of silent, ridiculous victories and the peculiar pride they bring. It's a reminder that, while the years may add to our grump factor, they also give us plenty of opportunities to chuckle at the silliness of it all.

Transcript

Blade: 0:05

And we start with the song of the day today all along the Watchtower and this happens to be my favorite version of this song, and this is a song that was probably covered by everybody. Bob Dylan wrote it all along the Watchtower but everybody did covers of it and there are a lot of great covers on it. I was just watching a cover of Brian Ferry of Roxy Music and Robin Trower. They did a version of it and U2 did a version of it, dave Matthews Band did a version of it, grateful Dead did a version of it and, goodness gracious, jimi Hendrix did a version of it. But this was my particular favorite Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush. I don't know why it is, but it is All along the Watchtower. It sounds great. Listen, I am really, really confused. This is the most confused feeling I've ever had as an individual and I've had this confused feeling my entire life and I've never sorted it out. You know how it is in your head. You can always figure out a reason why something happened and what the solution to that confused feeling is. Always, you can always figure it out, rationalize in your head. You know what the reason is, but this is one I've never, ever figured out. I was at Dunkin Donuts the other day with my daughter and one o'clock in the afternoon nobody's in Dunkin Donuts, it's just me and sat down and got a box of dozen donuts which, by the way, is there anything that makes anybody happier in life than a box of donuts? You know eating Boston cream pie and she's having her strawberry sprinkles and that, and then in comes this guy and he's hey, what's going on? He's kind of, you know, real upbeat and uptempo and the people behind the stand at Dunkin Donuts or their eyes are rolling, you know, and they're turning their backs. You know, and I think I know where this is going, judging by the appearance of the guy, and he walks over and gets his free water and he looks around and there's nobody in Dunkin Donuts except for me and my daughter and he comes and takes a table right next to me. Okay, I can tell by looking at him he's homeless. And if you ever wonder if anybody is homeless, the key, the tell all, the do, all, end all is the appearance. You can tell by the way that they looked at their homeless and Fannie Pac with her, you know, burner phone and all that kind of thing, and it sits down right next to me. So right away, you know he's on the take, he's going to see what he get from me. I'm in good mood, you know, and frankly, for me everybody's story is interesting. I love people's stories, you know, and so I always want to get to the bottom of it to try and find out why these people are homeless. I'm assuming he was 35, because he looked 55. You know, that's how that thing goes, uh so, and first thing he says to me, he starts with a sob story right away. And that's part of the formula that they have hey, I just got out of the hospital. Okay, I had a seizure last night, which tells me one number one is alcoholic, because I don't know for sure. But that's what happens when you run out of alcohol, your body tries to reclaim itself and you suffer. Seizures happens all the time. So that's why he's in the hospital, probably because he had a seizure, you know.

Blade: 3:14

And they say I got robbed last night. And you know, I believe that because there's no honor among homeless people, they take what they can get. I'm sure he did get robbed, you know. $40, he said, and his girlfriend kicked him out of the house for no reason. He says she kicked me out for absolutely no reason. I'm thinking to myself oh, she had a reason, all right, she definitely had a reason. And then he says this is all part of the formula. And then he, because, because I've been through a million times, I'm sure you have two. And he says well, those are beautiful, that's a beautiful daughter you have. Okay, soften me up. I completely understand that.

Blade: 3:48

And so I'm listening to him tell his sob story about how bad the life is. And I and I asked him, I said so well, listen, how long have you been homeless? He says my whole life. And at that point I know Okay, he's been homeless his entire life, right? So he's got a system that works because he's alive and he's doing okay. I think you know, I mean, I wouldn't wish homeless on anybody, but I guess maybe they get used to it. Not quite sure, but so he's been homeless his whole life. So he knows what he's doing, and so he's telling me the stories of, you know, the sob stories of his life, and you know I, and he's telling me how much he loves Boston cream pies, which I happen to have. So I, you know, I happen to have cash on me and I know who has cash anymore, but I happen to have a 20. So I just put it on top of a donut and gave it to him, and, and, and he looked at me and I waited for the moment.

Blade: 4:38

This is the finale of the formula that they use, the format that they use. I waited for it, sure enough, god bless you, and you know. So. They use that because it makes people feel warm and good about what they've done, but in the end, out of all these years, I don't know if I've done the right thing.

Blade: 4:53

Now I don't have a problem with giving a guy five or 10 bucks to go buy a cheap bottle of vodka because he's out of liquor, because you may have a seizure and die and I don't want that to happen, you know. Or if he's going to use it for drugs or whatever addiction he has, I don't care. I mean because once you're addicted to anything, you know and that's probably one of the main reasons why they're on the street anyway is you got to have something to keep it going. Otherwise, I mean, you could like die. So I don't care what they do with the money. So I put a 20 on top of a Boston cream pie and God bless you. And walked out and my daughter asked me well, daddy, why did you give him $20? And it was getting in the car, starting up the car, and I said I don't know. I don't know. Did I do the right thing? I don't know. Did I do the wrong thing? I don't know. Did I just get taken? Probably I'm just so confused, I don't get it. It's like walking in and trying to order out of a Taco Bell menu or trying to understand the rules of cricket Other feelings that I'm confused, but I know I could figure those out. This one I can't figure out.

Blade: 6:01

Ladies and gentlemen, exploring and going deep into the artistry of rock lyrics, going deep into the art of rock and roll lyrics, welcome to poetry corner. Hello and welcome to poetry corner. And today's poem is contributed by the famed and acclaimed author and poet I Anderson, who later joined the rock combo by the name of Jethro Tal. Please gather as I recite verses one and two Aqua Lung Sitting on a park bench eyeing little girls with bad intent. Snot is running down his nose, greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Hey, aqua Lung Drying in the cold sun Watching as the frilly panties run. Hey, aqua Lung, feeling like a dead duck, spitting out pieces of his broken luck. Hey, aqua Lung, whoa Aqua Lung. And that concludes today's poetry corner. Join us again, won't you? I live girls with bad intent. Are you fulfilled? Do you feel intelligent now? Do you feel artsy? See, because many people look past the art of the rock and roll lyrics IBS.

Blade: 8:01

I suffer from a syndrome it's called IBS irritable bastard syndrome and the older I get, the more irritated I do get, and I'm like every other old man. It's starting to happen. I see it happening. I have a buddy, kevin Suggs, who calls me. He just calls me get off my lawn now he's forgotten my real name and he just calls me hey, get off my lawn. And that's it. Because the little things just irritate me and I get pissed.

Blade: 8:25

And the latest thing happened just today. And I'm walking across the parking lot to go into the grocery store to buy something you know, probably another set of glasses, you know, or some aspirin, or you know fill, a met fill up on a prescription. And I'm getting ready to cross the road to get into the, to the grocery store, and there's some old man in the car and he stops and he's like he's Telling me what to do. You know, he thinks he's being all nice and everything, you know, go ahead, cross the road. But he's telling me what to do by doing that, you know.

Blade: 9:00

And when I'm in a bad mood which I was today kind of, I was like I just stand there, you know, and I don't do anything. I said no, you go, you know. And then he says I Said no, you go, don't tell me what to do. I'm saying that to myself, of course, and they'll do one of two things. At that point They'll just screech on because, you know, there's a little Mail I still got it kind of thing going on right there, you know, and you don't really want to do that, because if I'm in a really bad mood, maybe I'll give you a kick on the side of the car and fist of cuffs may ensue. Generally I don't want that because I don't have time for that kind of thing.

Blade: 9:36

And the other thing that may happen is I'll say, okay, I'm feeling kind of I guess the word is funny today so I will walk across the street, as he's told me what to do, and I will go as slow as I can, you know, and, and to give it some authenticity, I might even limp just to do that, and I won't wave or say hi or even acknowledge him. I'll just walk as slow as I can, you know, and then maybe I get a win out of it that way. Ibs irritable bastard syndrome. Don't tell me what to do, okay, I'm just waiting for you to go so I can walk as slow as I can. I'm waiting for you to go so I can walk around you and so I don't have to do the walk across the street in a big hustle and act all thankful. You know, because you, because you're such a nice guy, you-