Diapers and Dilemmas for the Seasoned Soul

When the clock ticks past the prime of youth, some men find themselves on the unexpected path of fatherhood, and it's not just about changing diapers—it's a whole new chapter in life's adventure. Ever wondered how the likes of Steve Martin and Mick Jagger deal with the thrills and spills of parenting against the backdrop of their sunset years? We unwrap the tapestry of late-in-life fatherhood, sharing a blend of heartfelt confessions and eye-opening realities that come with the territory. This isn't your ordinary parenting discussion; it's a candid look at how societal norms and personal choices collide when men decide to embrace the challenges and joys of raising children during an age others are considering retirement.

Our episode kicks off with the musings of men who swapped their quiet golden years for storybook sessions and school runs. From the physical comedy of stooping down to pick up toys, to the underestimated trials of the 'terrible twos,' we introduce a humorous yet honest narrative of what it really means to be a dad later in life. Through personal anecdotes and the experiences of iconic rock legends and celebrities, we paint a vivid picture of the dedication required to nurture a young life when one's own is well established. It's a journey through the intricacies of fatherhood, filled with laughter, challenges, and the unspoken truth that while the body may age, the heart of a parent knows no time.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

So why would men give up their prime grandfather in years to become a new father? Well, the biggest reason that most people come up with it is because they can. And it's true, it doesn't matter if you're 60 or even 70, even though you reduced your sperm count, you still have plenty enough to good sperm to go around to reproduce. But the answer is not really because he can. The answer is because he was told to. You know, is it a 60 year old man that says, hey, listen, we're going to have a child? You know, I really want to have a child. I don't think so. Is it the 35 year old woman that says, hey, listen, I want to have a child? And the man says whatever you say, dear, that's what I think. The real answer is Listen, we just do it. We're told Okay. You know, I always wonder do men really aspire to have a family with children? And that's what they grow up wanting to have? Because it wasn't me, I mean, I didn't think highly or less of it as I grew up more or less ambivalent, and you know that's probably just me. I'm sure there are people out there and men out there that grew up wanting to have a family and raise a family. And you know it's too bad. I'll tell you why because the average age of people getting married is 25 years of age. And at 25 years of age a man is not even close to being a man. At that point he's still a boy, right, hey? As far as I see it, men are still boys up until the age of, say, 40 or 45 years old. That's when they start to get their emotions in check and and their brain starts to mature. Both of them Well, one of them matures more than the other. Let's just put it that way, you know, because at 25 or 26, you still got all those hormones and testosterone and all that stuff running around. It's crazy time for a man to to commit to the vows you know. And their vows, whether they be old or not, you know their vows. You say I promise to death to be part two, two, to be loyal and faithful, and blah, blah, blah and all that kind of stuff. And it's hard to do when you're 25 years of age, you know, and a lot easier to do when you're 40 to 45 years of age, because you have that stuff under control, that stuff for the most part, or a little better. But when a woman says, listen, I want to have a baby, what are you going to say? I don't care if you don't have any conscience at all. You're not saying no. You can't say no. Women are here on the earth to have babies, right, and and and men are here to take care of their families and their and their babies. And so when the woman says I want to have a baby, I dare you. I dare you to say no, we're not having a baby. To your wife or partner or whatever the deal is, I dare you. So, the reason being you give up your grandfather years to become a new father is because you have been told to do that. And thumbs up if you, if you're able to do that Now.

Speaker 1: 3:05

Again, there have been many people that have decided to have choose fatherhood later on in life, and one of my favorites is Steve Martin, who had his first child at 67 years old. And how do you mention those two words, steve Martin, without laughing? You know, and when you mentioned Steve Martin, you always laugh. I always end up laughing because there was that line in planes, trains and automobiles that you run into so much when you are an older father with young kids, or any father really, and that's this. You can't get a word, an edgewise. Your kids, your young kids, are always interrupting, you know, and I always laugh at that. So here's an idea Every time you open your mouth to say something, have a point.

Speaker 1: 3:47

You know, and you know how kids are when they're young. I found this out anyway. Two, three, four. You ask them what time it is. They tell you how to build a watch. They could explain the whole system, except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back. You would. And, by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener. You know and you know.

Speaker 1: 4:15

And Mick Jagger God bless him, and I always say, when he is not on this earth, I will, I will feel like I have halfway died myself. We've grown up with Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. Our whole life We've had, we have a lifelong relationship with that guy. He's got 73 right now. He just had his eighth child, you know, and he's got him from age 40 into their teens, I think. And again, he just had his youngest child and Ronnie Wood, I think, is 60. Gosh, he had his first child at 63.

Speaker 1: 4:47

I want to say the Rolling Stones. And who else? Trump had his boy, baron, at the age of 60. You know, men can do it. Like I said, they lose a little bit of sperm, but they can do it up until the end, you know, if they are told to to do that. And some guy is a media mogul, robert Murdoch, who had some child when he was 70. And I don't know who that is. You know, I don't know media moguls, you know. And and then there's the weird things like Tony Randall, who was 79 years old, and I mean that's a little weird, right, I mean you have a baby at 79. You know, I think that's a little.

Speaker 1: 5:24

At that point senility starts to stick, kick in and and you probably I don't know how good you're going to be as a, as a father, at the age of 79. It was Kitty Kinnon that always told me that she's just just doesn't like. You know, really, really, 22 year old women with old men having babies, and she had a problem with that and understand that. Just a matter of whether or not you can take care of them and still are of sound state of mind, that's it. Are you going to be a sound state of mind if you're going to have a child later on in life? Because that's it pretty much it right.

Speaker 1: 5:57

And there are good things and bad things about having a child later on in life. Say it 55. Good things and bad things. Let's start with the bad things. And the worst thing of it all is the twos, the terrible twos. I mean it's worse than people even say yes people about it. What are the terrible twos like? Why do they call that? And people say, oh, it's not so bad, it's a little tough. Well, that's wrong. It's a lot tougher than people say and maybe they forget how tough it is over the years.

Speaker 1: 6:26

That's my goodness, you know, I catch myself and I'm not a good father and I catch myself saying things that I've been saying my whole life. It's like getting the car, you know, and well, I got to get up on this step and then I have to fasten this and then I have to, you know, explaining the whole process of getting into the car, and I end up saying things like I've caught myself saying things like this I'm just quit dicking around and getting my goodness, if you got patients, that's so much, and I don't have any of that, any patients you know. The twos thing is just wow, they're into everything. You got to lock everything up. It's awful.

Speaker 1: 7:05

The other bad thing you know about having a you know a child as an old man you know is that you just don't realize how many noises you make when you bend down to help them with the puzzle. You know, my friend, frank Adamax, said look, you get up in phases, blade. You get up in phases, three phases, and for each phase there's a different sound Whoa, to finally get out when you get down. It's the same thing. I found that out. It is taxing. And try carrying in a dead weight of sleep child up and you know, two flights of stairs to, you know. So it gets tougher physically for sure, you know.

Speaker 1: 7:45

And getting them dressed, especially if they're girls, oh, you know the pants fit and they don't match in this shoe and that's. And getting them dressed, you know, and they don't feel like and they're running around and they won't sit still and I'll never figure out how to do a girl's hair. Never, I give up. Okay, girls, women can handle that kind of thing, and you know. So that's kind of the tough things about having a child as an old man. And as we move on to the good things about having a child as an old man, number one really is that you're much more mature and you can handle it much better and you're more focused and dedicated to your children, cause I don't know how much dedication you can give your child at the age of 25, if you get married because you're off worrying about your career and doing all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:40

I remember my father was that he'd be gone for a year at a time, possibly in the military kind of thing, but that's okay. I got a good influence from my dad. You know I love him and he was a very good influence and so there are a lot of good things really about being a father as an old man. When you have two, three, four, five year olds and some of the other ones are, there's the and let's go back to the bad things about being an old man and having a young kid. You can't get any work done. I'm a pitch man, a video pitch man, which I thought I'm going to retire from that, and here's why, with so many voices, you can always find a unique voice for any voice you need. No, please, I'm a poop. You need to wipe me. Should I leave that in the? I pooped right in the middle of a recording session, 17 minute recording session. You have to wipe me Every day, all day. I tell you.